To Clone Or Not To Clone?...
The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was immensely pleased with himself.
Only today they had announced the discovery of an outpost of Alexander the Great on the Kuwaiti island of Failaka. It had been established by Alexander's general Nearchus.
Of course the settlement had been found by archaeologists much earlier.
It was only today the find had been made public.
Among the objects found was a lock of hair in a liquid vial.
The vial itself had been made from ancient glass.
The liquid was some sort of preservative that had also been used in Egyptian mummification.
The lock of hair in the vial was said to belong to Alexander the Great in the inscription on a stone knife below the vial where it was found.
So naturally Set had arranged to get ahold of the vial and had used his laboratories to extract the DNA from the lock of hair.
And now on the same day this discovery of Alexander's outpost at Failaka was announced, Set Laboratories was ready to present the clone of Alexander the Great.
"Ready, Boss?" Renfield enquired.
"Ready," Set smiled.
Renfield pushed a button that turned around the huge glass test tube that contained the body of the Alexander clone.
Renfield and Set both gasped when they looked upon the features of Alexander the Great.
Set swallowed, "He looks familiar."
Renfield agreed and also swallowed, "He certainly does, boss."
Amadeus Emanon (who was busy eating a can of Beluga caviar that he had bought from a duo of Irish sand digging beachcombers on the Irish Sea coast earlier this summer) remarked, "He's the spitting image of Dracul Van Helsing."
"Amadeus, shut up," Set commanded.
"I believe Dracul's third name is Alexander isn't it?" Amadeus started spreading the caviar on a Ritz cracker, "Christopher Dracul Alexander Nicolas Van Helsing. Maybe Alexander is a family name going back generations. Perhaps he's a descendent of Alexander the Great."
"Amadeus, shut up," Renfield pushed a button on another computer, "er... um... computer analysis shows similarity between the DNA of Alexander the Great and Dracul Van Helsing. They are related."
"I believe Dracul is also descended from King Arthur isn't he?" Amadeus quietly munched on his caviar and cracker, "And didn't the 13th century Franciscan friar Roger Bacon who wrote that prophetic book you stole from the Vatican Secret Archives, didn't he predict that your tomb would be rediscovered in the early 20th Century which it was? And didn't he also predict that you'd be eventually slain by a descendent of King Arthur?".
"Amadeus, for the final time, SHUT UP!" Set seethed.
"Boss, do you want me to put this clone of Alexander the Great on ice for a while?" Renfield asked.
"Please do," Set mopped his brow, "And what is our Ziyi Zhang clone up to? The one you've trained to think that she's the real life daughter of Fu Manchu?".
"Well," Renfield beamed proudly as he pushed a button bringing down a large screen projector, "here's a live broadcast from the physics lab at the University of Saint Andrews where said Daughter of Fu Manchu is busy working with levitating objects."
Daughter of Fu Manchu experiments with levitating object at Saint Andrews University, Scotland.
Only today they had announced the discovery of an outpost of Alexander the Great on the Kuwaiti island of Failaka. It had been established by Alexander's general Nearchus.
Of course the settlement had been found by archaeologists much earlier.
It was only today the find had been made public.
Among the objects found was a lock of hair in a liquid vial.
The vial itself had been made from ancient glass.
The liquid was some sort of preservative that had also been used in Egyptian mummification.
The lock of hair in the vial was said to belong to Alexander the Great in the inscription on a stone knife below the vial where it was found.
So naturally Set had arranged to get ahold of the vial and had used his laboratories to extract the DNA from the lock of hair.
And now on the same day this discovery of Alexander's outpost at Failaka was announced, Set Laboratories was ready to present the clone of Alexander the Great.
"Ready, Boss?" Renfield enquired.
"Ready," Set smiled.
Renfield pushed a button that turned around the huge glass test tube that contained the body of the Alexander clone.
Renfield and Set both gasped when they looked upon the features of Alexander the Great.
Set swallowed, "He looks familiar."
Renfield agreed and also swallowed, "He certainly does, boss."
Amadeus Emanon (who was busy eating a can of Beluga caviar that he had bought from a duo of Irish sand digging beachcombers on the Irish Sea coast earlier this summer) remarked, "He's the spitting image of Dracul Van Helsing."
"Amadeus, shut up," Set commanded.
"I believe Dracul's third name is Alexander isn't it?" Amadeus started spreading the caviar on a Ritz cracker, "Christopher Dracul Alexander Nicolas Van Helsing. Maybe Alexander is a family name going back generations. Perhaps he's a descendent of Alexander the Great."
"Amadeus, shut up," Renfield pushed a button on another computer, "er... um... computer analysis shows similarity between the DNA of Alexander the Great and Dracul Van Helsing. They are related."
"I believe Dracul is also descended from King Arthur isn't he?" Amadeus quietly munched on his caviar and cracker, "And didn't the 13th century Franciscan friar Roger Bacon who wrote that prophetic book you stole from the Vatican Secret Archives, didn't he predict that your tomb would be rediscovered in the early 20th Century which it was? And didn't he also predict that you'd be eventually slain by a descendent of King Arthur?".
"Amadeus, for the final time, SHUT UP!" Set seethed.
"Boss, do you want me to put this clone of Alexander the Great on ice for a while?" Renfield asked.
"Please do," Set mopped his brow, "And what is our Ziyi Zhang clone up to? The one you've trained to think that she's the real life daughter of Fu Manchu?".
"Well," Renfield beamed proudly as he pushed a button bringing down a large screen projector, "here's a live broadcast from the physics lab at the University of Saint Andrews where said Daughter of Fu Manchu is busy working with levitating objects."
Daughter of Fu Manchu experiments with levitating object at Saint Andrews University, Scotland.
posted by Christopher @ 7:24 PM
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