Qonzilqointec: Vampire Princess of the Aztecs

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

The Hugo Chavez Show with Special Guest Fidel Castro

The Hugo Chavez Show with Special Guest
Fidel Castro
A chapter in a Vampire Novel
written by Christopher
aka Dracul Van Helsing
on October 15th, 2007

Yesterday Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez was in
Santa Clara, Cuba visiting the mausoleum of Ernesto
Che Guevara who was killed 40 years ago this past week.

Chavez did a TV broadcast from the mausoleum for his
weekly TV show broadcast on state run Venezuelan television.

He talked to Cuban President Fidel Castro by phone on the program.

Here's part of the conversation that was not broadcast on television
for the Venezuelan viewing audience:

Castro: So Hugo, I thought you told me that you had hired
a Haitian witch doctor who could read the Haitian Book of the Dead
and he was going to raise our friend Comrade Che from the dead
as a surprise ensemble to the 40th anniversary celebration?

Chavez: Didn't Raul mention that an enemy agent poisoned
Doctor Bones Duvalier's Chicken and Ribs before the
ceremony and Duvalier dropped dead before he could bring
Che back to life?

Castro: No, my brother didn't mention it. I'll have to chew him out
next time I see him.

Chavez: Anyhow my Intelligence Services in Venezuela have sent an
agent after Doctor Duvalier's poisoner.

Castro: That's good to hear.

* * *

Scene: London, England. Dracul Van Helsing is taking a stroll
along the Thames in front of Big Ben and the Westminster
Parliament.

Dracul stopped momentarily as he received an incoming
text message on his Samsung cell phone.

It was a message from Princess Qonzilqointec the Aztec vampiress
who was wanting to know the names of machine gun-toting bikini
babes in Delhi, India.

Dracul decided not to respond to the request. The princess was probably
wanting to bump somebody off.

There was enough violence in the world as it is Dracul thought
to himself as he passed a newspaper box with a headline
that told a grisly story of three robbery suspects in Port Elizabeth,
South Africa who had been captured by cannibalistic vampires
and slow roasted over an open fire as they screamed in unison
to the melody of Beethoven's Song of Joy which was being played
by the Vampire Cannibal Symphony Orchestra at the outdoor concert
and dinner.

"Dracul," a feminine voice called out after the Canadian vampire
hunter.

Van Helsing turned around and noticed the pretty long-haired
brunette dressed in a red sweater, rusty brown skirt and spiked
red leather boots.

"Athena?" Dracul approached the woman, "Athena Guerrido?".


He approached the Venezuelan born art curator whom he had met
at an art show and exposition in New York City last autumn.

The woman pulled out a gun out of her purse and shot Dracul
point blank in the chest.

"Damn, I hate it when that happens," Dracul remarked as he
fell to the ground.

"Vengeance for the Revolution," Athena gave a clenched-fist salute.

"I never knew you were a Communist," Dracul gasped, "there aren't many
Marxists who do their Master's thesis in Art History on the English Pre-
Raphaelites."

"I can't seem to find my lipstick," Senorita Guerrido remarked
as she rummaged through her purse after putting the gun back.

"I notice you're wearing my favourite perfume," were Dracul's
last words before he lost consciousness.

To be continued.

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