Will Che Rise Again?

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez had just returned
from a ceremony honouring the memory of Marxist
revolutionary Ernesto Che Guevara who had been
executed in Bolivia 40 years ago today.

In the speech, Chavez had called Che an "infinite
revolutionary".

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was dressed
in a vibrant yellow evening dress and sitting on an elegant
sofa in El Presidente's office as Chavez entered the room.

"Impressive speech," Qonzilqointec congratulated Chavez.

"Thank you," President Chavez helped himself to a glass of
tequila, "Ernesto's infinite revolutionary status may soon take
on a more literal meaning."

"What do you mean?" asked Princess Qonzilqointec as she
helped herself to a roasted frog's leg from a tin of roasted
frog legs and placed one on a cracker with a dash of caviar
and proceeded to eat.

"At this moment, I have a Haitian witch doctor, Doctor Bones Duvalier
over at Che's mausoleum in Santa Clara, Cuba where Raul my dear friend
Fidel's brother is presiding over a massive celebration honouring the great
man Che's life," Chavez declined a frog's leg when offered from the vampire
princess, "and this evening he is going to attempt to bring Che back to life
using a little known spell from the extremely rare Haitian Book of the Dead."

"I've never heard of the Haitian Book of the Dead," the Aztec princess tore
into another frog's leg with much relish (and mustard!), "and I've been
around for over half a millenium."

"It turns out the Haitian Book of the Dead is very rare," Chavez dipped
a cracker into some salsa sauce and ate, "so rare in fact, that no one
thought a copy existed. Then some brilliant Caracas librarian made a point
of checking for it on Amazon.com and sure enough they still had a copy.
It will be that copy they're using at tonight's ceremony."


- - -


At the mausoleum of Ernesto Che Guevara in Santa Clara, Cuba:

Raul Castro is inspecting the guard of honour.

At one corner of the site, Dracul Van Helsing stands wearing a fake
Fidel-looking beard and wearing a Cuban revolutionary army hat
and smoking a Cuban cigar.

Hyung Grace Kwan is dressed in the colourful white blouse and
red skirt of a Spanish dancer.

"Which one is Doctor Bones Duvalier?" Hyung asked.

"He's the one up on the honoured guests' platform eating the
plate of Canadian Swiss Chalet style Chicken and Ribs," Dracul
answered , "it's apparently his favourite entree."

"How did he get the name Bones Duvalier?" Hyung asked.

"No one is sure whether it was because he spent a lot of times in
cemeteries as a child or whether his father was an overzealous fan
of the character of Doctor McCoy on the original Star Trek," Dracul explained.

"And only he can read the inscriptions from the Haitian Book of the Dead
that has the power to bring the dead back to ife?" Hyung looked at the
face of Doctor Bones Duvalier.

"Not anymore," Dracul remarked as Doctor Bones Duvalier keeled over
face first into the sour cream of the baked potato.

"He's dead," a Cuban revolutionary guard shouted.

"How did you do that?" Hyung asked with much admiration
in her eyes.


"I was the one who prepared the Swiss Chalet Chicken and Ribs dish,"
Dracul smiled, "for the sauce I used a pinch of some South African mushrooms
that my friend Tim in Port Elizabeth sent me. Those mushrooms had been
prepared at the hotel where Tim works when it was thought that former
Deputy Vice-President Jacob Zuma would be visiting the dining room.
When Zuma didn't show up, Tim sent the specially prepared mushrooms to me
to serve for a special occasion."

"So what was good enough for the Emperor Claudius was good enough
for Duvalier," Hyung spoke with a twinkle in her eyes.