Stalin's Ghost, Captain Cobra and Father Athanasius
Hillary Rodham Clinton was in a trance again, "Comrade Josef, are you there? Comrade Josef, are you there?".
The ghost of Josef Stalin appeared to his aging feminist protege Hillary.
"I am here my daughter and most devoted disciple," the ghost of Josef Stalin said, "it is extremely hot where I am. I'm always relieved when you summon me to Earth. How can I be of assistance?".
"I want to win the Indiana and North Carolina primaries this coming Tuesday," Hillary bellowed, "what can I do?".
"Leave it in my hands," the ghost of Stalin winked.
"All right," Hillary stood up and left the room where she then went to a dinner party in which she gave a speech attacking Barack Obama for being friends with some people who were known Marxists.
The ghost of Josef Stalin looked at the calendar- May 2nd- the feast day of Saint Athanasius.
This gave Stalin an idea.
He contacted Captain Cobra- a genetically engineered hybrid creation of the East German Stasi scientist Comrade Nicht Werhoffen who now worked for Vladimir Putin.
Stalin's ghost asked Captain Cobra to track down a priest named Father Athanasius Ben Gurion (a Jewish convert to Catholicism and a distant relation of Israel's first Prime Minister) who was the parish priest and rector of Saint Athanasius' Catholic Church in Chicago (Chicago being an appropriate locale since it is now Barack Obama's home base).
Stalin thought it would be beneficial if Captain Cobra sacrificed Father Athanasius the rector of Saint Athanasius on the Feast of Saint Athanasius.
This sacrifice might arrange the cosmos so that his disciple Hillary would win the Indiana and North Carolina primaries next Tuesday.
On CNN News, Friday evening May 2nd 2008, "And this just in... a Roman Catholic priest in Chicago was sacrificed tonight in a bizarre satanic ritual ceremony on the altar of his own parish church...."
"In other news, Hillary Rodham Clinton spent much of this evening talking about Barack Obama's former pastor Rev. Jeremiah Wright..."
The ghost of Josef Stalin appeared to his aging feminist protege Hillary.
"I am here my daughter and most devoted disciple," the ghost of Josef Stalin said, "it is extremely hot where I am. I'm always relieved when you summon me to Earth. How can I be of assistance?".
"I want to win the Indiana and North Carolina primaries this coming Tuesday," Hillary bellowed, "what can I do?".
"Leave it in my hands," the ghost of Stalin winked.
"All right," Hillary stood up and left the room where she then went to a dinner party in which she gave a speech attacking Barack Obama for being friends with some people who were known Marxists.
The ghost of Josef Stalin looked at the calendar- May 2nd- the feast day of Saint Athanasius.
This gave Stalin an idea.
He contacted Captain Cobra- a genetically engineered hybrid creation of the East German Stasi scientist Comrade Nicht Werhoffen who now worked for Vladimir Putin.
Stalin's ghost asked Captain Cobra to track down a priest named Father Athanasius Ben Gurion (a Jewish convert to Catholicism and a distant relation of Israel's first Prime Minister) who was the parish priest and rector of Saint Athanasius' Catholic Church in Chicago (Chicago being an appropriate locale since it is now Barack Obama's home base).
Stalin thought it would be beneficial if Captain Cobra sacrificed Father Athanasius the rector of Saint Athanasius on the Feast of Saint Athanasius.
This sacrifice might arrange the cosmos so that his disciple Hillary would win the Indiana and North Carolina primaries next Tuesday.
On CNN News, Friday evening May 2nd 2008, "And this just in... a Roman Catholic priest in Chicago was sacrificed tonight in a bizarre satanic ritual ceremony on the altar of his own parish church...."
"In other news, Hillary Rodham Clinton spent much of this evening talking about Barack Obama's former pastor Rev. Jeremiah Wright..."
posted by Christopher @ 7:27 PM
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