Shilpa Shetty Meets Tony Blair

Shilpa Shetty went to Parliament and thanked Tony Blair.

Shilpa Shetty the winner of the UK Channel 4's Celebrity Big Brother contest was invited to Parliament.

She watched the Prime Minister's Question Period in the House of Commons and was invited to meet British Prime Minister Tony Blair afterwards.

Said Shilpa of the meeting, "He was very very kind and said he was very sad to see what I had to go through in there". Miss Shetty was referring to the bullying and racist taunts she endured in the Big Brother house.

The Commons chef prepared a special dessert in her honour called "Shilpa's delight".

Miss Shetty met many MPs and Lords.

Among the Lords she met was Lord Tweedsmuir the House of Lords' resident expert on Russia and China and their geopolitical influence in the world.

Lord Tweedsmuir had as his escort one Angelique Dumont the vampiress songstress and star of the current production of The Phantom of the Opera going on in London's West End.

As Shilpa went through the cloud of well wishers, she happened to recognize the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.

"Dracul," she went up and kissed him, "I read your letter to BBC News defending me."

"You're welcome my dear," Dracul kissed her hand, "anything for a lady."

"Would you like to hear my Winston Churchill impersonation?" British Conservative leader David Cameron grabbed her.

"Didn't I see you at the Davos Summit with Princess Qonzilqointec?" Tony Blair asked Dracul as he passed by him.

"You did," Dracul smiled.

"She helped me write my speech on Climate Change," Blair shook Dracul's hand and went on to speak to Lord Tweedsmuir.

Dracul thought to himself, "Yes, Qonzie is busy promoting a Climate Change agenda as are the Environmental whackos. 2012 is the year the Kyoto Protocol must be fulfilled- coincidentally 2012 is also the year the feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl is supposed to return according to Mayan and Aztec prophecies."

And of course Qonzilqointec had also got the UN to appoint the Russian Communist vampire Leon Trotsky (now living Undead and vampirically under the pseudonym Lev Tomi) as the new Secretary of the UN Secretariat on the Environment and Climate Change.

Dracul Van Helsing looked in the direction of Lord Tweedsmuir.

Behind him stood Angelique Dumont.

Angelique Dumont had been turned into a vampiress by Dracul's good friend the Spanish vampire concert pianist Manuel de Rivera y Vargas as she lay dying in a flooded New Orleans mausoleum that had just been flooded by the waves of Hurricane Katrina.

Angelique had worked briefly as Dracul's night time secretary in his Private Eye office before she landed the part of Christine in the latest London West End production of The Phantom of the Opera.

He had been told that she seemed to be hanging around Lord Tweedsmuir quite a bit.

Dracul wondered what she was up to.

After having tea and some of the special Shilpa's Delight dessert, Dracul then left Westminster.

It had been a whirlwind couple of weeks. Davos, Switzerland. Then London. Then a trip to Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania to celebrate Groundhog Day with the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.

And now London again.

He was glad he had been in London to mark Shilpa Shetty's triumphal visit to Parliament.

Dracul went for a walk through Saint James' Park.

As he did so, Dracul Van Helsing noticed sitting on the grass another person he recognized from the land of India- India's top vampire huntress Miss Lakhlita Dhapour.


India's vampire huntress Lakhlita Dhapour smiled at Dracul Van Helsing
as she saw him approach.