What Happened To Ishmael's Ram?
The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set entered the dining room where Renfield and Amadeus were sitting. Renfield was eating a tuna sandwich and Amadeus was reading a newspaper.
"Renfield," Set spoke in an angry tone.
"Yes, boss," Renfield gulped. He was familiar with that tone.
"You told me last week a plot by the Pakistani ISI that was funded by a pro-al-Qaeda Saudi prince was going to occur," Set seethed, "a plot backed by that golden serpent shape-shifter that's recently appeared on the world supernatural scene- that serpent shape-shifter who calls himself the Imam Mahdi- a plot known as Ishmael's Ram was going to happen in America."
"I believed that it would," Renfield's face turned so ghostly white that Amadeus thought Renfield was shapeshifting back into a hamster.
"Well, I don't recall reading in today's paper about thousands and thousands of people keeling over at yesterday's Super Bowl in Miami," Set threw his own newspaper to the floor where the billionaire Egyptian's pet jackal Anubis promptly crapped all over it.
"It was my understanding that the Carrier as he was called in Islamic circles was being flown on a plane to Miami and the isolation lab he was in would then be driven by truck to the Super Bowl where the Carrier would be released and would wander around the stadium infecting hundreds of thousands of people who would then fly home all across the US and infect others. It would be a 24-hour gestation period before any signs would show up," Renfield explained.
"But I hear nothing at all on the News about any sickness being spread among humans at the moment," Set seethed still, "what happened?".
"Er..." Renfield gulped again, "I just got a text message on my cell phone that the Pakistani plane was vapourized by a laser death ray satellite while flying across the Pacific just east of the Philippines."
"Laser death ray satellite?" Set approached Renfield, "They're not supposed to officially exist. In fact neither the Russians nor the Americans nor the Chinese have a fully operational laser death ray satellite. Only my company Set Enterprises has a fully operational laser death ray satellite. Are you saying one of our satellites vapourized the Ishmael's Ram plane?".
Renfield looked at the serial number on the magnified photo of the culprit laser death ray satellite and gulped again, "Um... yep... it was one of ours."
"How's that possible?" Set screamed, "only you and I know the access codes to that satellite."
Renfield turned white again, "Boss, it wasn't me... I swear..."
Set looked at Renfield, "I know it couldn't be you. I know you're not the type of person to stop such wanton death and destruction as would be carried out by the Carrier. You'd have revelled in this Ishmael's Ram plague."
"Indeed I would, sir," Renfield forced a grin.
"Someone or some government must have found a way to infiltrate our communications systems," Set paced the room, "no doubt something very clever and sophisticated."
"No doubt, sir," Renfield agreed.
Amadeus Emanon looked over at the small writing pad beside the lamp- the writing pad Renfield used to jot down important information such as access codes- he'd rip off the top sheet of paper not realizing that the pencilled inscriptions would also show up on the piece of paper immediately underneath.
Amadeus smiled as he read about the latest Paris Hilton and Britney Spears antics after the Super Bowl.
"Renfield," Set spoke in an angry tone.
"Yes, boss," Renfield gulped. He was familiar with that tone.
"You told me last week a plot by the Pakistani ISI that was funded by a pro-al-Qaeda Saudi prince was going to occur," Set seethed, "a plot backed by that golden serpent shape-shifter that's recently appeared on the world supernatural scene- that serpent shape-shifter who calls himself the Imam Mahdi- a plot known as Ishmael's Ram was going to happen in America."
"I believed that it would," Renfield's face turned so ghostly white that Amadeus thought Renfield was shapeshifting back into a hamster.
"Well, I don't recall reading in today's paper about thousands and thousands of people keeling over at yesterday's Super Bowl in Miami," Set threw his own newspaper to the floor where the billionaire Egyptian's pet jackal Anubis promptly crapped all over it.
"It was my understanding that the Carrier as he was called in Islamic circles was being flown on a plane to Miami and the isolation lab he was in would then be driven by truck to the Super Bowl where the Carrier would be released and would wander around the stadium infecting hundreds of thousands of people who would then fly home all across the US and infect others. It would be a 24-hour gestation period before any signs would show up," Renfield explained.
"But I hear nothing at all on the News about any sickness being spread among humans at the moment," Set seethed still, "what happened?".
"Er..." Renfield gulped again, "I just got a text message on my cell phone that the Pakistani plane was vapourized by a laser death ray satellite while flying across the Pacific just east of the Philippines."
"Laser death ray satellite?" Set approached Renfield, "They're not supposed to officially exist. In fact neither the Russians nor the Americans nor the Chinese have a fully operational laser death ray satellite. Only my company Set Enterprises has a fully operational laser death ray satellite. Are you saying one of our satellites vapourized the Ishmael's Ram plane?".
Renfield looked at the serial number on the magnified photo of the culprit laser death ray satellite and gulped again, "Um... yep... it was one of ours."
"How's that possible?" Set screamed, "only you and I know the access codes to that satellite."
Renfield turned white again, "Boss, it wasn't me... I swear..."
Set looked at Renfield, "I know it couldn't be you. I know you're not the type of person to stop such wanton death and destruction as would be carried out by the Carrier. You'd have revelled in this Ishmael's Ram plague."
"Indeed I would, sir," Renfield forced a grin.
"Someone or some government must have found a way to infiltrate our communications systems," Set paced the room, "no doubt something very clever and sophisticated."
"No doubt, sir," Renfield agreed.
Amadeus Emanon looked over at the small writing pad beside the lamp- the writing pad Renfield used to jot down important information such as access codes- he'd rip off the top sheet of paper not realizing that the pencilled inscriptions would also show up on the piece of paper immediately underneath.
Amadeus smiled as he read about the latest Paris Hilton and Britney Spears antics after the Super Bowl.
posted by Christopher @ 2:44 PM
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