Dracul Meets Heathcliff At San Diego Seaworld

"So do you mean to say the person responsible for financing my run for the Presidency was an ancient Egyptian vampire named Set who was worshipped by the ancient Egyptians as a demon god of darkness?" Heathcliff Dionysus Campbell looked shocked.

"That's right," Dracul Van Helsing nodded.

"What makes this ancient Egyptian god of the desert and darkness think that I would have acted as his puppet if I was elected President?" Heathcliff asked.

"It's because you're a hairdresser," Dracul replied, "Being so old (even older than Sen. John McCain), he suffered from various preconceived stereotypes."

"Well, just because I'm a hairdresser doesn't mean that I'm a pushover," Heathcliff Dionysus Campbell adjusted the pink carnation in his suit lapel.

His pet Siamese cat Oysterella spat in agreement at this statement.

"I just love what you did with my hair," India's top vampire huntress Lakhlita Dhapour called from the heartshaped chair in Heathcliff's impromptu hairdressing tent stand down at San Diego's SeaWorld.


Lakhlita Dhapour: I just love what you did with my hair.

"And you mean to say another member of the vampirically undead who's worshipped as a pagan deity is causing trouble for America," Heathcliff Dionysus Campbell tipped his hat in the direction of Lakhlita.