Renfield Meets Kali
As Dracul Van Helsing explained to Heathcliff Dionysus Campbell the havoc that the Hindu vampiress Kali was wreaking upon America, Renfield the shapeshifting hamster was meeting with Kali in downtown Los Angeles.
"So," Renfield helped himself to his plate of curried salmon and mermaid, "this is delicious. I'm glad you were able to find an Indian restaurant that served curried mermaid. I always wanted to try it."
As the news on the TV set in the restaurant mentioned the two tornadoes that had recently hit southern California, Kali smiled.
For she (who was worshipped as the Hindu goddess of death and destruction) was responsible for those two tornadoes that had hit southern California. Not to mention the numerous tornadoes that were hitting the US this year. Not to mention the recent cyclone that had hit Burma.
"So," Kali smiled, "I understand your employer's pick to be the next President of the United States sort of fizzled at the ballot box."
"Yes," Renfield nodded as he bit into a curried mermaid eyeball, "just like Firefighters For Kerry went down the drain in 2004, so Hairdressers 4 Dionysus ran out of hairspray in '08."
"And I understand the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec is still trying to draft Al Gore," Kali laughed.
"Yes and the Greek vampiress Hecate who was the ancient Greek goddess of witchcraft as well as the three hags on the Scottish heath who inspired Lord and Lady Macbeth and the black magic resurrected Gorgon Medusa had all thrown their broomsticks and their cracked mirrors behind Hillary Rodham Clinton. But despite the unlikely coalition of feminists and Homer Simpsons (unwashed uncouth beer guzzling belly scratching belching white American blue collared workers), this wasn't enough to stop Barack Obama."
"Obama who is supported by vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing," Kali frowned.
To be continued.
"So," Renfield helped himself to his plate of curried salmon and mermaid, "this is delicious. I'm glad you were able to find an Indian restaurant that served curried mermaid. I always wanted to try it."
As the news on the TV set in the restaurant mentioned the two tornadoes that had recently hit southern California, Kali smiled.
For she (who was worshipped as the Hindu goddess of death and destruction) was responsible for those two tornadoes that had hit southern California. Not to mention the numerous tornadoes that were hitting the US this year. Not to mention the recent cyclone that had hit Burma.
"So," Kali smiled, "I understand your employer's pick to be the next President of the United States sort of fizzled at the ballot box."
"Yes," Renfield nodded as he bit into a curried mermaid eyeball, "just like Firefighters For Kerry went down the drain in 2004, so Hairdressers 4 Dionysus ran out of hairspray in '08."
"And I understand the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec is still trying to draft Al Gore," Kali laughed.
"Yes and the Greek vampiress Hecate who was the ancient Greek goddess of witchcraft as well as the three hags on the Scottish heath who inspired Lord and Lady Macbeth and the black magic resurrected Gorgon Medusa had all thrown their broomsticks and their cracked mirrors behind Hillary Rodham Clinton. But despite the unlikely coalition of feminists and Homer Simpsons (unwashed uncouth beer guzzling belly scratching belching white American blue collared workers), this wasn't enough to stop Barack Obama."
"Obama who is supported by vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing," Kali frowned.
To be continued.
posted by Christopher @ 6:08 PM
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