The Crystal Skulls
California Gov. Arnold Schwarzeneggar looked at the map on the wall of all the California wildfires.
Sighed Arnie, "I should have paid the Hindu goddess Kali the one billion dollars she asked for not to start burning the state of California with wind and fire. But I didn't believe her. Since she's a Hindu goddess, why does she need a billion dollars?".
The Governor of Californi-ay then opened his mail.
The first was a large package.
When he opened the package, Arnie gasped.
Inside was a crystal skull.
* * *
The Anglican ArchDruid of Canterbury was sitting in his office talking to a Crystal Skull.
The Crystal Skull was a gift from a fellow Druid (and fellow Church of England clergyman).
ArchDruid Williams was surprised to discover that the skull could talk.
The skull mentioned to ArchDruid Williams that there never had been an historical Jesus. Belief in the existence of Jesus of Nazareth was a concept that had been planted in human minds by aliens from outer space.
ArchDruid Williams had heard recently that Church of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard had once said the same thing on a tape recording he made exactly 40 years ago this year.
The statement from the Crystal Skull meant that Hubbard was right, Rowan Williams made the epistemological deduction in his mind.
ArchDruid Williams picked up the phone and dialed the number of Hollywood actor Tom Cruise.
* * *
Oprah Winfrey opened up the box and took out a crystal skull.
"Oh fount of all wisdom," Oprah spoke to the crystal skull, "what hairspray should I use today?".
"VO3," the skull suggested.
"But there is no VO3 hairspray," Oprah responded.
"VO4," the crystal skull suggested again.
"But there is no VO4 hairspray," Oprah shook her head.
"VO5," the skull suggested in an exasperated voice.
"There is an Alberto VO5 hairspray," Oprah smiled like a woman having an orgasm, "You really are the fount of all wisdom."
* * *
To be continued.
Sighed Arnie, "I should have paid the Hindu goddess Kali the one billion dollars she asked for not to start burning the state of California with wind and fire. But I didn't believe her. Since she's a Hindu goddess, why does she need a billion dollars?".
The Governor of Californi-ay then opened his mail.
The first was a large package.
When he opened the package, Arnie gasped.
Inside was a crystal skull.
* * *
The Anglican ArchDruid of Canterbury was sitting in his office talking to a Crystal Skull.
The Crystal Skull was a gift from a fellow Druid (and fellow Church of England clergyman).
ArchDruid Williams was surprised to discover that the skull could talk.
The skull mentioned to ArchDruid Williams that there never had been an historical Jesus. Belief in the existence of Jesus of Nazareth was a concept that had been planted in human minds by aliens from outer space.
ArchDruid Williams had heard recently that Church of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard had once said the same thing on a tape recording he made exactly 40 years ago this year.
The statement from the Crystal Skull meant that Hubbard was right, Rowan Williams made the epistemological deduction in his mind.
ArchDruid Williams picked up the phone and dialed the number of Hollywood actor Tom Cruise.
* * *
Oprah Winfrey opened up the box and took out a crystal skull.
"Oh fount of all wisdom," Oprah spoke to the crystal skull, "what hairspray should I use today?".
"VO3," the skull suggested.
"But there is no VO3 hairspray," Oprah responded.
"VO4," the crystal skull suggested again.
"But there is no VO4 hairspray," Oprah shook her head.
"VO5," the skull suggested in an exasperated voice.
"There is an Alberto VO5 hairspray," Oprah smiled like a woman having an orgasm, "You really are the fount of all wisdom."
* * *
To be continued.
posted by Christopher @ 7:21 PM
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