Cinco de Mayo

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec in happier days on the penthouse balcony of her Mexico City skyscraper apartment building overlooking the city



The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec in happier days in her red evening dress- this photo taken atop an Aztec sacrificial pyramid



The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was dressed in an exquisitely beautiful scarlet red evening dress with elegant black ruffled sleeves on her shoulders and classy black spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes on her feet.

She was looking out the top floor window from one of Mexico City's highest skyscrapers.

She gazed down sadly at the not so crowded streets of Mexico City.

Today the Cinco de Mayo (5th of May which commemorated the victory of Mexican forces over the French soldiers of Napoleon III at the Battle of Puebla on May 5th, 1862) usually saw the streets of Mexico City overflowing with happy singing and dancing people. But in the wake of the swine flu outbreak (or to use its more politically correct name- H1N1 A Virus- the virus formerly known as swine flu), not many had ventured out even though Mexican public health authorities had said the worst of the outbreak was now over.

Qonzilqointec sighed as she thought of previous festive Cinco de Mayo celebrations.

Where in the evenings after the sun had set, she too would be dancing in the streets with her people.

But that had changed because of H1N1 A Virus- the virus formerly known as swine flu.

On the radio, Prince the artist formerly known as The Artist Formerly Known as Prince could be heard singing the song lyrics, "Let's party like it's 1999."

Qonzilqointec asked her maid Luiza to go turn off the radio as she thought it was inappropriate given the circumstances.

Qonzilqointec watched as the young and pretty Luiza in her tight fitting maid dress, black silk nylons and black spiked stilettos bent over to turn off the radio dial.

Qonzilqointec had been having strange thoughts about Luiza for over a year now ever since she had heard Katy Perry sing those haunting lyrics "I kissed a girl and I liked it" at an evening concert that the Aztec vampire princess had attended.

She picked up her mobile phone and called Dracul Van Helsing.

Even though she was a vampiress and he Dracul Van Helsing was a vampire hunter, they had had several one night stands together.

They talked for several minutes.

Then Qonzilqointec shrieked in ecstasy and put the phone down.

She ran to take a shower.

When she came back, the phone was ringing again.

"Again?" she thought.

Her water bills had been extremely high last month.


But to her disappointment, it was just former Cuban President President Fidel Castro calling her to discuss Latin American politics.

"So," Qonzilqointec held her towel tightly around her dripping breasts, "is your brother Raul going to enact the reforms that United States President Barack Obama has suggested?"

Fidel choked on his cigar at the other end of the phone and retorted, "When pigs fly..."

Princess Qonzilqointec looked out the window and noticed a huge pig with large bat-like wings and large pointed vampiric incisors protruding out of its mouth flying straight towards her window.

In the offices of Coast To Coast AM Radio host George Noory, one of his assistants remarked to the well-known host of the program dedicated to discussing the paranormal, "Gee, this is a really weird letter even by the standards of mail we usually get. This person is claiming that the recent swine flu virus that has broken out in Mexico is caused by a pig who's a vampire and can fly."

Back in the top floor skyscraper penthouse in Mexico City, Princess Qonzilqointec had seen many strange things in her short 500-year-life as a vampiress but this strange sight of the boar with vampiric incisors larger than his tusks caused her to scream.

And not in ecstasy.


To be continued.




In happier days, practically anybody could crash Mexico City's Cinco de Mayo party celebrations