Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec Phones Set On 66th Anniversary of Roswell Crash

At 1800 hours Greenwich mean time, the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set received a phone call from the Mexico City based Aztec vampire Princess Qonzilqointec.


Her Vampiric Highness spoke in her usual sexy and sultry vampiress voice,  "It was 66 years ago today that a UFO crashed at Roswell, New Mexico."


"And were you speaking to the pilot of the UFO just before he crashed?" Set asked as he spilled red wine all over himself.


"No, I wasn't," Qonzilqointec breathed into the phone like a lime Margarita going down one's throat on a hot summer day.


"Then he died comfortless,"  Set grabbed a wet towel and wiped himself off.


"Was your chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher ever able to successfully clone the dead aliens from the DNA that Renfield stole from Area 51 in Nevada?" Qonzilqointec asked.


"Nothing successful so far,"  Set replied as he swallowed a Viagara tablet with his next sip of red wine.


"I think I can do something to help," Qonzilqointec breathed into the phone like crystal clear water cascading down a waterfall.


"Yes?" Set felt a new erection coming on as Roger Whittaker sang I can feel a new tomorrow comin' on... on the radio.


"If we can get Edward Snowden refuge in Venezuela, this will help our plans immensely," Qonzilqointec soothed sultrily.


"It will?" Set was frozen in ecstasy.


"Yes," Qonzilqointec sighed with the silkiness of black lace lingerie, "I was good friends with the late Hugo Chavez and I think I can convince the current Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro to receive Snowden."


"I think you probably can,"  Set came with the full force of a volcanic eruption.


The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire put the phone down and called out to his valet,  "Athelstan, I think my pants need to be sent out to the dry cleaners."




To be continued.





-Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec Phones Set On 66th Anniversary of Roswell Crash

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday evening
July 8th 2013

Pan Goatee and Neb-Senu In Bethlehem

Pan Goatee and his friend the spirit of the statue of Neb-Senu had astral projected themselves to the town of Bethlehem in the West Bank.

Pan Goatee had not only taught himself the art of astral projection the past few weeks but had also recently mastered  the ability to shapeshift into other human forms.

He shape shifted into the appearance of a West Bank Jewish settler and went into a Palestinian neighbourhood and slaughtered a bunch of Palestinian children.

He then shapeshifted into the appearance of a fighter member of the Fatah al-Aqsa Martyrs' Brigade and went into a nearby Jewish settlement and slaughtered a bunch of Jewish settler children.

"Nothing like starting a shit load of trouble between people,"  Pan Goatee shapeshifted into Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow and winked at Neb-Senu.

They then astral projected themselves into the doctor's office of a hospital in Bethlehem to see what trouble they could cause there.

The doctor was out of his office but the TV was on and the satellite had picked up a transmission of an old 1960s American TV program Batman.

"Unholy smokeless fire,  Batman,"  Robin the Boy Wonder shouted to the Caped Crusader.

The jinn in the test tube in the doctor's office thought he was the one being talked about and looked towards the TV screen.

That's when he noticed the astral bodies of Pan Goatee and Neb-Senu.

The jinn (who was of the Marid variety of jinn) had been imprisoned in the test tube for a few months now.

He had been told in a vision that the only way he could escape was to get another entity to take his place.

The jinn noticed one of the entities appeared to be Egyptian and the other entity appeared to be a bad impersonation of American actor Johnny Depp as pirate Captain Jack Sparrow.

Inside the test tube,  the Marid jinn shapeshifted into an alluring female Egyptian Sila jinn who sang a sweet song of seduction in Egyptian to the entity known as Neb-Senu.

Eagerly,  Neb-Senu astral projected into the test tube allowing the Marid jinn to make his escape.

The Marid jinn quickly astral projected himself into the direction of the Mediterranean Sea.

When Pan Goatee saw that his friend Neb-Senu could not astral project himself out of the test tube,  all he could say was  "Oh shit."

Pan then astral projected himself to a Gypsy crystal ball reader on London's Carnaby Street for advice.

Meanwhile in another section of the hospital, Welsh werewolf British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley in his booming Welsh voice said,  "I declare this maternity ward officially open..."

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter

 written by Christopher

 Sunday evening circa 7 PM

 July 7th 2013