Nicht and Night At The Kremlin

Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin was inside the lab of FSB scientist Dr. Nicht Werhoffen (who had been a research scientist for the East German Stasi secret intelligence service until the Fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989).

Dr. Werhoffen had just developed a new genetically modified virus.

This virus was capable when it was injected into a human of entering the bloodstream and then eventually attacking the human brain literally turning the person so infected into a virtual zombie.

"Imagine that, Mr. Prime Minister," Dr. Werhoffen smiled, "turning Mother Russia's enemies into zombies like the plots of so many bad western horror movies."

"This is indeed a major achievement," Prime Minister Putin had to admit.

"So you'd like me to continue working on this project?" Dr. Werhoffen asked.

"By all means," Prime Minister Putin smiled.

The Prime Minister returned to the Kremlin where he once again practiced the song that was making him a superstar sensation on YouTube, "I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill..."

The phone rang.

"Hello," the Prime Minister picked up the receiver.

"Hello," said a sexy, sensuous and sultry voice.

It was the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.

"I'm just phoning to wish you a Merry Christmas," Qonzilqointec's voice dripped like honey over the phone.

"Feliz Navidad," Putin said in his most impeccable Spanish.

Qonzilqointec answered back, "Feliz Navidad. Gracias."

Putin then told Her Imperial Highness about the breakthrough of one of his scientists in developing a virus that had the power to turn people into virtual zombies.

"Imagine that," Putin chuckled, "a virus that can turn people into virtual zombies."

"I always knew they'd find a replacement for television someday," Qonzilqointec answered.

To be continued.

Of Qonzilqointec and Super Soldiers

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was attending a cocktail party in New York City in an exclusive Fifth Avenue penthouse.

She wore a green velvety evening dress and a diamond necklace.

She briefly glanced at her cell phone where she had received a text message from Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.

She typed the words DO IT NOW in reply.

She glanced across the room and noticed the former Apollo astronaut who seemed to be the center of attention in a little group of admirers gathered around him.

They seemed to hover on his every word as he described what it was like to walk on the Moon and to view Planet Earth from the Moon.

He was then asked whether he had ever seen any aliens while he was up there.

Princess Qonzilqointec walked half-way across the room in his direction and then just stood there looking at him.

The former Apollo astronaut gazed in her direction and then without stopping to answer the question about aliens walked over to her.

They went off together to a quiet little corner of the penthouse where they talked together in very hushed tones.


* * *

Meanwhile in a quiet room on the upper floors of the Westminster Parliament in the shadow of Big Ben, a powerful but little known Parliamentary Committee was meeting.

The committee was a joint House of Commons/House of Lords Select Committee on Intelligence and Defense.

Addressing the committee was none other than Renfield R. Renfield the Chief of Security and Intelligence and Espionage for the multi-billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

"So," Renfield continued his briefing, "we need to understand that DARPA (Defense Advanced Research Project Agency) in the United States of America and similar organizations throughout other industrialized nations are beginning a new arms race- the race to create the Super Soldier. This Super Soldier will be a "Human 2.0" to express it in terms of modern computer speak. What is referred to in Research and Development circles as GRIN (Genetics, Robotics, (artificial) Intelligence and Nano-Technology) will be used to create the perfect super human.
This Super Human soldier army of the future will have the following characteristics- hive mentality, superhuman strength, unbelievable agility and unsurpassed accelerated healing abilities."

"Good God," said Lord Tweedsmuir the House of Lords co-chairman of the committee, "this sounds like James Cameron's sci-fi TV series Dark Angel has come to pass."

Renfield nodded, "James Cameron is indeed a prophet. And those nations that do not get aboard the GRIN bandwagon to create a Super Soldier will find themselves going down like the Titanic."

"And," added Amadeus Emanon who had been brought along to serve as Renfield's secretary, "if one of these super soldiers with accelerated healing abilities gets shot, he'll be able to sing along with Celine Dion... My heart will go on and on..."

To be continued.